September 20, 2005 at 11:22:36 p.m.
When I was a little boy there were all sorts of things that frightened me. I cringed during heavy thunder storms. I retreated inside myself when I saw two people fighting. And certain animals frightened me because I had seen movies of these beasts devouring humans. I went to movie matinees every Saturday because they were cheap (tickets then were only 10 cents) and they would show the most frightening movies that Hollywood could then turn out. I would come away greatly relieved that these horrible apparitions remained inside, on that movie screen, and I could walk home non threatened. But even knowing that I was not going to be attacked by some atrocious animal, I still had a fear that somehow that gorilla I had just seen was stealthily following me in the shadow of doorways I just passed. Try as I might I could not shake that gorilla from my mind.
It has been many decades since those matinees and I have grown up and become wiser but the gorillas have not gone away they have just morphed into some other image and there were still gorillas in the world and one needs to be careful or one could fall into their clutches and, well, that would be it–and you would be no more.
So the image of the gorilla became a metaphor for all things that threatened me, things I could not control or overcome. And even visits to the local zoo where I would gaze for a long time at the gorillas in their cage, watching them contentedly munching on pieces of fruit could not completely erase the fearful gorilla within.
We all have our own version of the gorilla. There is some apparition within us that still holds us in its grip and leaves us threatened. It might be a wild animal, it might be an aggressive person, or it might be a condition in life that would take away our security or threaten our peace and harmony. Whatever it is we need to come to terms with it.
To allow our self to accept any power outside of our self is self destructive. To see our self as one with all life is the ultimate security blanket. Jane Goodall showed us that humans can interact with gorillas and find them peaceful and loving. And just as she found a way to make contact with a beast that most people feared we can find a way to make peace with our inner self that will let us accept that which we find most threatening.
The world shows us that we still live in fear and fear, of any magnitude, is the source of hate. That is a powerful word – hate. It conjures up confrontation and battle. It makes us develop defenses and weapons to keep us from harm. It makes us live in a atmosphere of distrust and condemnation. We think that people are out to take us, to cheat us, or to covet that which we have worked so hard to attain. It is a known fact that that which we fear will come unto us and that which we hate will sooner or later attack us.
The world we live in must change. But that change, like all change must begin with the individual. Wars are started and fought by humans, not armies but individuals, massing together under a banner of fear and hate. We live with one hand on the hilt of our sword while the other hand is extended in a gesture to receive. Give us, we plead, or we shall take what we want from you.
If we understand the song of the universe we will hear the harmony of sufficiency. If we are wise and use what we have correctly, we will never experience want. If we live inside our self and recognize our completeness we will never know lack. Learning to be self loving is learning to be self sufficient. Using all that we have is a means of reaching inner fulfillment. Learning to give to yourself is the first step of disarming and the first act of being invincible.
The first law of the universe is abundance. There is never a shortage of anything. And since we are the part of that universe there is never a time when we are in need. The next time you feel deprived look deeply at yourself and see how much you already have and how full your personal larder is. If you do this and use what is already there you will discover that life is truly an embarrassment of riches! – GT