Love 101

September 20, 2005 at 11:27:17 p.m.

Love is long suffering and kind; does not envy; does not make a display of itself; does not boast; does not behave itself unseemly; seeks not its own; is not easily provoked; thinks no evil; rejoices not over iniquity, but rejoices in truth; bears all things; believes all things; endures all things and never fails.

So wrote Paul in his letter to the Corinthians centuries ago. Today, in a much changed world, his rules of love still apply, perhaps more strongly than they did in the days when he first wrote them. As we think of love in this month of St. Valentine, it might do us all well if we review the meaning of love as Paul saw it.

Love is long suffering and kind. Suffering does not mean enduring pain but rather the willingness to permit and tolerate the kind of person someone else is. Love recognizes individuality and respects individual freedom. If I love who I am, then my love for you will include the tolerance to let you be yourself without censure or critique.

Love does not envy. We will always meet others who are greater or lesser than ourselves. Even in the best relationships it is common to find one partner who excels in some area that the other doesn’t. To accept that , without envy or self diminishment is necessary to make love live.

Love does not make a vain display of itself. So often people will play at love to put up a good front. Nowhere is that more evident than in religious organizations where it is fashionable to “talk a good game” of love. Loving people do not flaunt themselves or hold themselves up for acclaim. Love does not need showmanship to be noticed. It is its own bright light.

Love does not boast. Sometimes we are so happy to have someone to love us that we simply have to tell everyone else of our good fortune. Why are we doing this? More often than not we are seeking their validation of what we believe our qualities to be. Love does not need this kind of endorsement.

Love does not behave itself unseemly. This means that love does not behave with impropriety. Love has good manners and those good manners show whether in private or in public.

Love seeks not is own. Love is not possessive or selfish. It revels in freedom and like a beautiful flower it asks for no additional adornment. – GT